The First of September is coming right up, which means I'm about to pay dearly for all that bragging I have done on my behalf and all the smack-talk I've sent your way.

Look, I was just out of my mind to think I could do this. What, swim 4 miles? Walk and bicycle 17 miles? It's the medication! Honest, I'm taking eye drops and, and you're not supposed to mix those with cough syrup - it makes you loopy!

I'm even lining up some fine excuses. Listen to these:
- Went to the doctor today and he said I have "pre-dislocation syndrome" in my left foot. Man, that sounds serious! But I'm going to walk the 17 miles anyway. Heck, it's not like it's "dislocation syndrome" -- I still have the "pre" left!
- My knee has been acting up a bit lately, and...
- I can hear the joint in my right shoulder as I swim -- it's from that old motorcycle wreck...

So, there you go, I've covered all the excuse bases -- let's hear yours?

You can participate in one, two or all four events. Don't feel like a complete, lame, weakling sissy if you complete fewer events than I do. (Oh, boy, there I go again.)

This is not a race, so you can stop bragging about how you'll "beat" me. Besides,what are the chances?

Remember, don't expect big crowds at these events, as this is the year that just a few select people (you) participate to see if making this a large event is feasible. This is not an officially organized event, so think of it like your own personal outing and prepare accordingly -- we're pioneers, here!

(UPDATE Aug. 12: I do have an escort) I don't have an escort lined up for my swim, so if you or a friend has a kayak or canoe and you think you can paddle very, very slow for four hours, and if you can stand to watch a grown man struggle and flounder and founder and flail and wail and weep pitifully while he swallows half the lake, then give me a call! (910)207-1920. Or email me back.

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SCHEDULE DETAILS
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Saturday Walk - Start at the state park visitor's center at 8 a.m. Any questions? Contact Grant Egley, at 646-4851.

Sunday Ride and paddle - (UPDATE Aug. 12: see above for correct times on bike and paddle). Remember, the paddle part is either just across the lake, on the same path as the swim (4 miles) or around the entire lake (15 miles.)

Monday Swim - This is the most organized of the events, as this group has been doing this for decades. They will start out either at Johnny's pier or the dam -- whichever is best for the swimmers given the prevailing winds. We'll meet at the dam at 7:30 a.m. You'll need your own escort boat, which can be either a powerboat or paddle-boat.

Yours at 125-over-78 B.P.

Mark Gilchrist